“Simple can be harder than complex:
You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple.
But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there,
you can move mountains.”
~Steve Jobs
You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple.
But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there,
you can move mountains.”
~Steve Jobs
 |
| Cuenca, Ecuador |
Sajsana Restaurante, Cuenca, Ecuador
Today I am
spending some time alone. I need
solitude to think, to write, and to examine my self and life. I haven't had
much of a chance to do that yet.
Sometimes
lately it seems my mind is not working as well, as clearly, as it used to. It
seems that my drive to plan and organize and get things done it's just not
effective. Is that my age? Or is it just my present relaxed situation? Of
course, if I were home in Maine, I
would be, most probably, depressed. The lack of gumption along with that cold
gray weather would pull me down even deeper. At least here there are wonderful
sensory inputs and decent weather.
I have
some life choices to make - and at this point I feel rather indecisive. I'm
here “checking out” Ecuador - again. I DO like the weather and the diversity of
people here, but there are things that are disquieting to me. When the sun is out it is absolutely
perfect weather, clear air, fluffy clouds, and fresh breezes coming down the
green-banked rivers.
With
good choices one can live here very inexpensively. A bus ride across town is only 25 cents and many restaurants
offer good meals for around $5.
The great majority of people are very friendly and overall it is a safe
city.
Flip the coin and realize
that downtown the streets are gray with the settled bus diesel fumes and
volcanic stone dust from the cobblestones. Dogs wander free, many are stray, and often get hurt in
traffic. I am able, temporarily,
to live with the contradictions, but it can get wearing.
Later this year I plan to check out
Europe more seriously to make a decision as to where to spend more time. Can one also live inexpensively there
making the right choices?
Sometimes it would just be nice to have somebody to make a decision for
me .. but I know that's not
appropriate at this point.
I have started
a list of pros and cons to help me make a decision. Activities and involvement would help.
This
morning I went to inquire about possibly working with staff and professors at
the Catholic University to improve their English. It will not work for me. They need people for at least six weeks. At least I made a couple good contacts
and some good information. I have
checked the possibility of teaching Spanish to ex-pats, or art classes, or
various other activities. My problem: I do not have the length of
time to commit now. I have met
many foreigners who have settled here:
some love it and plan to stay, others stay for a few months or years and
then decide to return to their home.
I have
arranged my life to travel for these few years. I explore and seek new places and experiences. I search for a home where I feel I
truly belong. I love this
investigation. Then my heart feels
tugged: back to Maine to my
grandchildren, to my aging parents, to my friendships and familiar
activities. Plus I am experiencing
a growing tedium of doing it alone.
The
tick-tack of that multi-ball pendulum swings – back and forth, thoughts and
feelings, decision and indecision, yes or no, to come or go.
I fall
into a moment of frustration, of disillusionment, when I realize: "I don't
really want to be here" … then, suddenly *BAM* … the mountains and
rivers leap into my consciousness and lick my face with the joy of an exuberant
puppy.
Facebook Photos - 2017 Ecuador #2: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10158077710445104.1073741967.804650103&type=1&l=91fa6fe6e3
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